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Email – DetroitFreePress – 20Nov2009

Keywords: Rules of Shumiwa, Shumiwa, Buzz, The Clotting Factor, GIST, Generation of Insecurity, Children of the Gray Area —-

From: phil sims
Sent: Friday, November 20, 2009 12:38 PM
To: dsharp@freepress.com ; Editor_People
Subject: According to the Rules of Shumiwa (c) 2009
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To: Shep and Drew Sharp:
From: Phil Sims
—– Gwinn, Michigan   49841
—– Listener of WDFN, Detroit Sports-Talk
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Here are my rough notes.  Read them when you have a free afternoon.
I will edit and prioritize this for clarity and comprehension in the next days, weeks, months to come.
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According to the Rules of Shumiwa (c) 2009
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—– There IS a classic definition for Shumiwa, but nobody wants to understand the theory, so we make it up as we go along.
—– Everything we say is clichéd and programmed and can be reduced to a few key phrases or gestures.
—– Everything must go a way unexpected.
—– For instance, by the Rules of Shumiwa, you can lose because of the hairstyle (FRINGE)  or because of his washboard.
—– If you have nothing to say, put a cliché together or make something up that has nothing to do with anything.
—– The answer for “By the Rules of Shumiwa” is “There are no rules, its a theory.”  And the response is “be that as it may” or wave it off.
—– A request can be put to you on the strength of washboard or hairstyle (FRINGE) to which you must comply (unless you can give a reason or an acceptable substitute).  Somebody else can give a substitute which may or may not be compliance.  So you could still lose both, the challenge and the substitute based on one request.  But any reason ,as a challenge to the request, will do depending on a number of factors so long as it is not obvious.
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—– You have to claim your advantage to have the advantage.  The advantage must be ironic such as fringe, washboard abs, or a chest goatee.
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—– You must acknowledge the most obvious thing or you lose something trivial.  The loss is up to the consensus of the group.
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—– The prime directive, over Shumiwa, is the survival of the Sports Bar.  This overshadows everything.  No Rule of Shumiwa overshadows the survival of the Sports Bar.
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—– You will have fun at a sports bar.  You cannot go to a sports-bar and not have fun.  Others will be jealous of you if you go out at night to a sports bar.
—– Going out during the day to a sports bar is okay though and carries less social penalty.
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—– Shumiwa signals the start of the Communications Age in which everybody can participate.  The journalists are taking it back from the Information Technology area.  We are starting the Millennium of Peace under the Rules of Shumiwa. (If you could all help with that one.  This phrase is more a satirical reference to the Eastern Religions which give the prediction in contrast to the Mayan prediction of End of Days 2012).  And all previous contracts under prior ages will be contractually fulfilled as under tort law..
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—– By Hannah Montana and Wizards of Waverly Place, the job of youth is to befuddle the previous generations.  If you look befuddled, it will help with the
———-  Children of the Gray Area (2000-2020),
———- The Grays (2000-2020),
———- The Generation of Insecurity (2000-2020), and
———- GISTers (2000-2020),
———- where Media is the Mentor.

—– By the Rules of Shumiwa, Journalists must leave pens, papers and laptops at the door so they do not freak others out.  They have a blackbelt in public relations already.  But others can have their laptops out and link to the Internet without penalty.
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—– Fans of Shumiwa should follow a dresscode that favors body shots over headshots.  They should use the bodylanguage over facial language.
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—– Fans of Shumiwa will also never pass up the opportunity to tell a woman she is pretty and why.
Pointing will be replaced with open palm facing up.  No pointing is permitted.
Shumiwa will always be described as “highly stylized and loosely structured.”
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There are many categories for generational study.  Here is a rough roadmap.  Do not quote me on the ranges of dates.  Most come from Wikipedia
…..1928-1945 The Depression Era
…..(1946-1964) Baby Boomers
…..(1956-1964(?)) Generation Jones  <<— (The last half of the Baby Boomers)
…..(1965-1975) GenX
…..(1976-2001) EchoBoomers
…..(1980(?)-2000(?)) GenY
…..(1980(?)-2000(?)) The Millenials
…..(1980(?)-2000(?)) The Me Generation
…..2000-2020
———- (2000-2020) Children of the Gray Area
———- (2000-2020) The Grays (2000-2020)
———- (2000-2020) The Generation of Insecurity (2000-2020)
———- (2000-2020) GISTers (2000-2020)
———- (2000-2020) where Media is the Mentor
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—– This may take a while to fleshout.
—– If you don’t think this is going to be confusing.
—– Fasten your seatbelts for a bumpy ride.
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Under the Rules of Shumiwa:
—– A basketball player once asked the coach for the next play.
The coach answered ,”Just make it work and get it done.”
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—– By the Laws of Shumiwa, anything that is expedient is immediate but things can be drawn out for effect.
—– All actions and delays are matter-of-face and final.
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—– By the Laws of Shumiwa, the best result is that which gains the most attention rather than that which gives the most benefit.  By gaining the most attention you can give more benefit in the long-run.
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—– “That is insane.”
—– “That may be true, but she does have fringe and he does have a goatee above his bellybutton.”
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—– For more study, and ways to embarrass others, reference your Reverend and/or Scientology.
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—– “That’s just more Shumiwa.”
—– Regardless of the inconveniences, the answer can be, “We know.”
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—– We would like to upgrade from Star Trek references, but those are the only phrases universally recognized and upon which everybody can agree.
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—– They serve as a base from which we can bring in the references of the EchoBoomers and the
———- Children of the Gray Area,
———- The Grays,
———- The Generation of Insecurity, and
———- GISTers,
———- where Media is the Mentor.
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—– By the Rules of Shumiwa, multiple generations are encouraged to be in the same room because this facilitates the increased use of Shumiwa.
—– And the increased use of Shumiwa facilitates the Communication Age (2000-?) which follows the Information Age (1980-2000).
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According to the Rules of Shumiwa (c) 2009, Shumiwa (c) 2007, Buzz (c) 2007, The Clotting Factor (c) 2007, GIST (c) 2008, The Generation of Insecurity (c) 2008, The Children of the Gray Area (c) 2008 are copyrights of Jay Willis, Marietta, GA.  All Rights Reserved.

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